How not to approach women
Even in this supposedly enlightened era of ours, the rules of dating remain unchanged in many respects. While a woman can openly signal her interest in a guy in a multitude of ways, it is still assumed that, more often than not, it is the guy who will make the first definite move.
If you are a woman who has never walked up to a totally strange man and tried to start a conversation from zero, you may not realize how completely nerve-wracking the experience can be. On the other hand, to all you guys out there: have you ever tried viewing your ‘pick-up’ activities from a woman’s perspective? It could help you get a bead on what’s fun and flattering for a woman, or what’s a total turn-off.
In any human encounter, much depends on the unique personalities of the people involved. One woman will be fascinated where another is affronted. However, there are some general guidelines that apply to just about all women when making that first approach.
1. Hygiene. Yes, Number One!! Do not expect a woman to be charmed if you have bad breath, B.O., or boogers about to drop from your nose. We’re not talking about dress or grooming here. A lot of women go weak at the knees for stubbly chins, grubby overalls, and muddy workboots. All these things can be very hot. But if you stink, you lose.
2. Don’t use cheesy pick-up lines. Really. One guy out of twenty can turn a pick-up line into something cute, but more often than not they’re irritating and patronizing. The implication that all women are the same, and that your ‘winning pick-up line’ will work on anyone, is off-putting. Try a little originality – it’ll get you much further.
3. Don’t stare at her boobs or scan up and down her body - it’s really obvious and it’s offensive. Maintain friendly eye contact and smile (don’t leer!).
4. Don’t touch her or grope her, and don’t invade her personal space. Keep your initial approach non-sexual. Trust me - she will like and respect you more, and if she’s already attracted to you she will want you even more if you keep that initial distance. Women, too, love the thrill of the chase!
5. Don’t scan the room for other women while you’re talking to her.
6. Don’t be pushy or domineering. Approaching a woman for the first time can make a man feel vulnerable. Many guys over-compensate with excessive machismo and bravado in order to prove that they’re controlling the situation. Just relax.
7. Don’t drone on about your job, salary, or car. Yes, there are gold-digging women out there who are only interested in material possessions, but is that really who you want to hook up with? Give her a chance to talk, too. Be interested in what she says.
8. Don’t be too serious and don’t dwell on negative or depressing topics, particularly your own personal problems. Try to steer the conversation so both you and she are having fun.
9. Don’t act desperate, even if you are desperately in love - or lust. Show her you enjoy talking to her but keep her guessing about your attraction to her. At this stage, treat her like a good friend rather than the object of your desire. T